All paths led here: Making my way back to my design roots

The colourful houses by the harbourside are a key landmark in the city of Bristol, where I've lived for the past 20 years (photo by Martyna Bober on Unsplash)

After years of working in marketing, I’ve found myself returning to my first love: design. This path wasn’t straightforward though. It was full of doubts, unexpected turns, and a gradual rediscovery of the creative spark that originally led me to study art and design. Now, looking back, I can see how every step along the way has brought me full circle.

In 2003, I left the quiet, green countryside of Shropshire to study illustration in the bustling, creative city of Bristol. I was both excited and nervous to leave home for the first time. Moving day is cemented in my memory: a family friend drove my mum and me to my new uni halls with all my belongings. I still remember the drive along the M32, towards the heart of the city, with the tower blocks and skyrises looming.

Graduation Day at Bristol Cathedral ©Ali Swanton

I wondered: did I make the right decision?

Looking back, I can see how much that time shaped me, even though I struggled to find where I fit. Part way through my degree, I mentally gave up. Feeling that my future as a freelance illustrator seemed unlikely. I didn’t think I had what it took. And two business lectures didn’t help me see a path forward. At 21, I lacked the confidence to pursue illustration as a career and instead decided to take a “safer” path.

Maybe it was burnout, after years of focusing on art and design. Or maybe it was imposter syndrome whispering that I wasn’t talented enough to succeed. My brilliant classmates seemed so clear on their goals, while I wasn’t sure if I’d ever “make it”. Like so many people, I felt the pressure to “get a good job” and build a stable career. And so I pivoted, applying to marketing jobs – still creative but with a clearer path to stability.

Over the next 16 years, I stayed in marketing, PR and communications. I spent the first decade in international publishing and non-profit organisations, before starting my own marketing business. As an introverted, sensitive soul, I’d always struggled with office politics and noisy open-plan setups. Self-employment felt like a way to do meaningful work, on my own terms and with people I enjoyed working with.

The Covid-19 pandemic, however, threw everything up in the air. I think it did for many of us.  It prompted me to re-evaluate. And to wonder: is this it? Although I enjoyed my client work, I sensed it was time for a change. For a while, I felt like I was wading through mud, unsure of my next step. Trying things on for size and aiming to hold things as lightly as possible. But it was a difficult and trying time. A business coach asked: “What do you most enjoy?” and I had trouble answering. I’d convinced myself that I wasn’t creative anymore. That I couldn’t make it in the design world.

But I am creative.

It took a long time to listen to myself, to remember that I love design work. In my past marketing roles, I had always enjoyed the website projects most. I also remembered chatting with my manager about doing some work with the amazing in-house design studio team (although sadly no part-time role came up before my team was made redundant). I remembered the excitement of building my own website when I started freelancing, diving into WordPress(!) and editing clients’ sites. Then, more recently, a design agency unexpectedly reached out for my help with their marketing. It felt surreal, as I’d been thinking about how I might work more with creative people. It seemed like a sign, although I couldn’t quite make sense of it at the time.

These were hints, right in front of me. But I couldn’t join up the dots and make proper sense of my journey – until recently. Watching Steve Jobs’ Stanford University commencement speech made it all click:

“When people look back and tell the story about how they got somewhere, they will connect the dots, make it look tidy and linear, cut out all the doubts, fears, floundering, and wrong turns they made along the way. They will often make it sound as if they took one clear step after another, as if the path ahead was clear to them, as if they were following a plan every step of the way. But this is rarely how journeys really are. We have no idea what lies ahead. We are all in the dark, and the best way to find the right path for us is to feel our way.”

Jobs also shared how a calligraphy class, taken on a whim while he was in the midst of dropping out of university, later inspired Apple’s typography – years before he could have imagined it would be useful. His words resonated with me deeply. They reminded me that every experience had led me to this point: my design background, my marketing and communication skills, and a growing understanding of my strengths.

Walking in my local woods in Bristol ©Ali Swanton

Now, I’m a designer, creating custom websites on Squarespace.

My 16 years in marketing and communications weren’t wasted; they give me a unique edge as a designer, allowing me to approach web projects strategically and with a clear focus on results. I understand the nuts and bolts of a website, making sites both visually appealing and user-friendly. My experience with brand positioning and messaging ensures each element aligns with my clients' core message and resonates with their audience. I'm also well versed in content strategy, so I design with SEO and engagement in mind. Ultimately, I deliver designs that not only look great but also support my clients’ business goals.

Embracing my own traits – introversion, sensitivity and thoughtfulness – has helped me see that these qualities don’t hold me back; they make me a better designer. I notice the nuances: the way colours blend, tiny imperfections, how a layout feels on a page.

That awareness, once a source of insecurity, has become my strength.

And more than that, I listen deeply to my clients. Because I believe in their work. They’re here to make a difference. And I’m here to help them feel great about their online presence, so both they and their business can flourish.

I now hold certain beliefs close to my heart – principles that guide me in both work and life. They’re my creative manifesto, a set of values shaped by each twist in my path and every lesson along the way.

So I’m going to keep learning, keep growing.

Because we never know how or when the skills we pick up might come back into our lives. All paths lead somewhere. And that’s an exciting thought.